Today I met my match, and it was technology.
Nobody else in the house was awake, but I heard loud music coming from my cousin's bedroom, which was open. I walk inside, and there's a smartphone blaring some insulting idiotic nonsense. Thing was, I couldn't figure out how to stop it. I turned the volume down to no effect, I stopped the music player, and still it screamed obscenely at me with that ear-assailing caterwaul of a song. The title said "the Jerk" and I was too inclined to agree, as I stood there like a jackass trying to find a switch to shut the damned thing off. I flailed it about like a primate and threw feces at it, but that didn't work either. In the end, I don't know how I terminated its bedeviling bedlam. Only that it had left me a heaving, raging, irate fool for being too dumb to properly phone. I don't remember being that livid at anything in a long time. Must be the stress. All I know is I will never own a smartphone. I'm obviously too hackneyed to operate one.